Sunday, May 28, 2006
Wedding Homily
Spoken to my daughter Jean and Lucas (Hilliard), May 20, 2006.
Scripture Colossians 3:12-15
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Homily
What a wonderful moment this is that we have all looked forward to. And much has been done to prepare for standing here. Jean, with great care you have selected the wedding gown to put on, one that fits your character and displays your beauty. It reflects well who you are. Lucas, you look handsome in your tuxedo. It is fitting to wear the best clothing for your time of union.
This passage, which you have chosen, speaks of wearing clothing that is fitting for a couple who unites in Jesus Christ. It's context is found in the beginning of the chapter: If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Your lives are hidden with Christ. There is great mystery in this saying, but understand that you are united to him. And as you become united to one another, your union together will include the union that is with his Spirit. As such you are called "chosen ones, holy and beloved." You have been chosen by God before the foundation of the world to be loved by him and to be made righteous in Christ Jesus," with whom you are united. What then should you put on to reflect such a union?
Your passage tells us: You should put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Consider how these garments should appear to each other. To put on compassion is to wear empathy; it is to understand what the other is going through and then to care. Jean, it means thinking through what it is like for Lucas to begin a career and to take on the heavy responsibility of providing for a wife and eventually a family, and then to care for him; to be a strong and loving helpmeet who encourages him. Lucas, to be a compassionate husband takes time to understand what it is like for your wife to separate from her family and give her identity to someone else for the first time and join her fortune with you, and then to care for her, to be strong for her and tender towards her. To be compassionate is to be kind to each other, and that is what you truly need to do for one another. It is all too easy to be harsh and unkind to those who are closest to us. Where we are courteous to strangers and in the workplace, we can be rude and hurtful to those we love the most. Be kind, and show that kindness both privately and publicly. Jean, what means so much to me about your mother is that she will never say an unkind word about me in public. (And as you know, there is much that she could say!) It is great kindness to speak well of each other to others.
Then comes humility. Jean, Ephesians 5:22-24 teaches you in humility to submit to your husband as to the Lord. You are to respect him and be his helpmeet; as such you are to count him as more significant than yourself. Lucas, Ephesians goes on to say that you are to love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. Thus, as Jean's head, you are to lay down your life for her every day, counting her as more significant than yourself. That's how Christian humility works in a marriage. It is not a 50-50 proposition; it is giving your all for the welfare of each other. With that comes meekness, or gentleness. Do not underestimate this virtue. In a society in which sarcasm and barbs have become the norm, all the more you need to be gentle with your words and your care for each other.
The last of this list of five clothing articles is patience. Perhaps this is the most necessary for a long-lasting marriage and certainly to carry out the next exhortation to bear with one another. Each of you are marrying a sinner. This means that along with the years of happiness ahead of you as husband and wife, there will be years of offenses against each other, and just plain annoying traits to put up with. Patience will give you the grace to bear with each other and to exercise an act that will be repeated again and again – the act of forgiving and asking forgiveness. One of the rare times in which we could say that Jesus understated his case was in his answer to the question about how many times one is to forgive his brother – seven times? Jesus replied seventy times seven. Any couple married as long as your parents would say seventy times seventy times seventy.
How can you do this? By above all putting on love. It is love that binds all the other garments together. And this is not the love of romance that attracted you to each other. It is the love of agape, of the gospel; it is the love of God the Father shown through God the Son and made real to you through God the Spirit. It is the love that is compassionate, that is kind and humble and meek; it is the love that is patient and moves you to seek forgiveness and give forgiveness. And you will have such love only as the peace of Christ rules in your hearts. It is as you grow in your knowledge of God and of what Christ has done for you that you will grow in likeness of your Father and of your Savior.
Lucas and Jean, you begin your marriage no doubt with the earnest desire to know and love each other. But take heed to my words now. It is the desire you possess to know and love God – it is the passion that you have for your Lord – that will truly make your marriage not merely a relationship that survives the years, but that becomes the blessing it is intended to be. For God's purposes for you go beyond having a relationship with each other; he will use you to sharpen each other, to feed each other, to test, to bless, in many ways to prepare each other for the day when with God's people you will attend another wedding in which you will both be brides for the Bridegroom, our Lord Jesus Christ. This day is but the rehearsal, the image of the Great Wedding to come. Commit yourselves to preparing each other for that glorious day.
Scripture Colossians 3:12-15
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Homily
What a wonderful moment this is that we have all looked forward to. And much has been done to prepare for standing here. Jean, with great care you have selected the wedding gown to put on, one that fits your character and displays your beauty. It reflects well who you are. Lucas, you look handsome in your tuxedo. It is fitting to wear the best clothing for your time of union.
This passage, which you have chosen, speaks of wearing clothing that is fitting for a couple who unites in Jesus Christ. It's context is found in the beginning of the chapter: If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Your lives are hidden with Christ. There is great mystery in this saying, but understand that you are united to him. And as you become united to one another, your union together will include the union that is with his Spirit. As such you are called "chosen ones, holy and beloved." You have been chosen by God before the foundation of the world to be loved by him and to be made righteous in Christ Jesus," with whom you are united. What then should you put on to reflect such a union?
Your passage tells us: You should put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Consider how these garments should appear to each other. To put on compassion is to wear empathy; it is to understand what the other is going through and then to care. Jean, it means thinking through what it is like for Lucas to begin a career and to take on the heavy responsibility of providing for a wife and eventually a family, and then to care for him; to be a strong and loving helpmeet who encourages him. Lucas, to be a compassionate husband takes time to understand what it is like for your wife to separate from her family and give her identity to someone else for the first time and join her fortune with you, and then to care for her, to be strong for her and tender towards her. To be compassionate is to be kind to each other, and that is what you truly need to do for one another. It is all too easy to be harsh and unkind to those who are closest to us. Where we are courteous to strangers and in the workplace, we can be rude and hurtful to those we love the most. Be kind, and show that kindness both privately and publicly. Jean, what means so much to me about your mother is that she will never say an unkind word about me in public. (And as you know, there is much that she could say!) It is great kindness to speak well of each other to others.
Then comes humility. Jean, Ephesians 5:22-24 teaches you in humility to submit to your husband as to the Lord. You are to respect him and be his helpmeet; as such you are to count him as more significant than yourself. Lucas, Ephesians goes on to say that you are to love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. Thus, as Jean's head, you are to lay down your life for her every day, counting her as more significant than yourself. That's how Christian humility works in a marriage. It is not a 50-50 proposition; it is giving your all for the welfare of each other. With that comes meekness, or gentleness. Do not underestimate this virtue. In a society in which sarcasm and barbs have become the norm, all the more you need to be gentle with your words and your care for each other.
The last of this list of five clothing articles is patience. Perhaps this is the most necessary for a long-lasting marriage and certainly to carry out the next exhortation to bear with one another. Each of you are marrying a sinner. This means that along with the years of happiness ahead of you as husband and wife, there will be years of offenses against each other, and just plain annoying traits to put up with. Patience will give you the grace to bear with each other and to exercise an act that will be repeated again and again – the act of forgiving and asking forgiveness. One of the rare times in which we could say that Jesus understated his case was in his answer to the question about how many times one is to forgive his brother – seven times? Jesus replied seventy times seven. Any couple married as long as your parents would say seventy times seventy times seventy.
How can you do this? By above all putting on love. It is love that binds all the other garments together. And this is not the love of romance that attracted you to each other. It is the love of agape, of the gospel; it is the love of God the Father shown through God the Son and made real to you through God the Spirit. It is the love that is compassionate, that is kind and humble and meek; it is the love that is patient and moves you to seek forgiveness and give forgiveness. And you will have such love only as the peace of Christ rules in your hearts. It is as you grow in your knowledge of God and of what Christ has done for you that you will grow in likeness of your Father and of your Savior.
Lucas and Jean, you begin your marriage no doubt with the earnest desire to know and love each other. But take heed to my words now. It is the desire you possess to know and love God – it is the passion that you have for your Lord – that will truly make your marriage not merely a relationship that survives the years, but that becomes the blessing it is intended to be. For God's purposes for you go beyond having a relationship with each other; he will use you to sharpen each other, to feed each other, to test, to bless, in many ways to prepare each other for the day when with God's people you will attend another wedding in which you will both be brides for the Bridegroom, our Lord Jesus Christ. This day is but the rehearsal, the image of the Great Wedding to come. Commit yourselves to preparing each other for that glorious day.
